Compulsive Fascinations Read online

  Calum walking away from me because of something that had happened in the past was ludicrous, and, just in case that's what was going through his head, I was resolved to not let it happen.

  2

  Calum led us to the back booth, the same exact one we'd sat at that first night. The entire time I followed him there, my eyes remained locked on his tight back. On how his muscles flexed with every step.

  I hated that he was angry. Hated even more that I saw it.

  But, God, the way he walked when pissed off was truly delicious. Those big shoulders swung back and forth as he walked toward the back like a man heading to kick someone's ass.

  When I saw where he'd led us to, a huge smile broke out on my face.

  It didn't matter that he was pissed. He still wanted us in that booth—the same large, round one we’d sat at the first night we’d met—and I couldn't hide my delight at that fact.

  Calum placed our drinks on the table. He caught sight of the smile on my face and some of the tension on his own melted away. “Happy?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

  Still smiling, I nodded up at him.

  The last of his tension left him and his lips curled up into a lopsided smile. Those golden eyes trailed down the length of my body hungrily. Sighing, he cupped my nape. “Did I tell you how delicious you look today?”

  I'd gone through hell picking my outfit. The disaster zone still waiting for me in my bedroom at home was proof.

  The dark blue dress I wore was semi-loose on top, but dipped low enough to show my cleavage, and it tightened right below my rib cage, hugging my body like a second skin all the way down to mid-thigh. I'd paired it off with six inch, black velvet pumps, and the diamond bracelet he'd given me last month.

  I'd remembered how many times he told me he loved my hair wavy, so I'd purposely curled it some more, leaving thick waves hanging all the way down to my back. The bar was dark, candle-lit, and I'd known that, so I'd gone for dark blue eye shadow on my lids, accentuating my light blue eyes.

  My lips were bare, no lipstick. I'd already learned that wearing lipstick around Calum was practically futile.

  Panting, dizzy from his compliment, I stepped all the way up to him. Instead of answering him, I cupped his nape and brought him down for another kiss. He tensed in surprise—then seemed to melt around me, his hands spanning my waist and bringing me closer.

  Christ, his strength. His heat. The hard ridge of his arousal pressed into my stomach, tempting me to climb him and wrap my legs around his hips.

  Calum nibbled on my lip, tightening his hold around my waist, as if he’d read my mind. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I caressed his tongue with mine, whimpering into his mouth.

  “Easy, baby,” he mumbled, sucking wetly at my lips before pulling away.

  I groaned in disappointment, trying to bring him back down.

  “Livana, we can't here.”

  “Let's go back to your apartment, then. It's closer.” He chuckled at that, and my uterus tightened as if punched. When he grabbed my wrists and gently unwound my arms from his neck, I almost snapped my teeth at him. “Calum!”

  “Liv, we came out here tonight for a reason.” Moving back, he swatted my ass hard enough to actually hurt. “Now get in that booth.”

  I waited a second for indignation to spark. Nothing of the sort. I felt myself getting wetter. He'd never spanked me before, and suddenly, all I wanted was for him to get me naked and do it until I couldn't walk.

  Staring at him over my shoulder, I bit my lip. “Do that again.”

  His eyes shot wide, eyebrows going high on his forehead. “What?”

  “I said: Do. It. Again.”

  Amusement sparked in his eyes, even though he tried to hide it, acting all serious. “I told you, we're in public. Now get in the booth.”

  Stubborn, edible man. When was he going to learn? I never gave up when I wanted something. My heart sped up as I raised an eyebrow at him, my body feeding off the sudden playfulness between us. “What are you going to do if I don't listen to you? Huh?”

  That surprise was back, a quick flash, and I almost heard what went through his head.

  No, she didn't.

  Uh . . . yes I did. I wanted my spank and I wasn't going to stop until I got it.

  Calum started laughing, his beautiful lips parting into a wide smile.

  I grabbed onto the back of the booth, honestly contemplating my chances of dragging his huge body out of the bar and back to his place.

  Still laughing, he stepped up to me, landing a smack so hard on my ass that I rocked on my feet and had to tighten my hold on the back of the booth to keep from falling forward. His hand latched onto the cheek he'd just spanked, kneading it roughly, and he leaned down to groan into my neck.

  I moaned, going wet down to my thighs.

  He growled into my ear. “You like that, then?”

  Another moan left me; more wetness. I tried to turn to him, needing his lips, his body—

  Calum pressed his hips into my ass, sliding his hard-as-steel cock right between my cheeks.

  “I'll make a note of that. Now get your little ass in that booth,” he demanded, hot against my ear.

  “Calum.” Everything about me was begging at this point—my tone, my body—and it was obvious as hell. I didn't care, was passed the point of rationality. “I need you. Let's go, please. Need to come all around you.”

  His next groan was pained. His hold became harsh around my ass cheek. “You're going to get it, baby. I promise. But I can't give it to you until you're inside that booth.” I didn't have a chance to try to make sense of that. Calum grabbed me and lifted me right off my feet, setting my ass down in the middle of the booth.

  The part mostly hidden from view of the front of the bar.

  He slid in right after me.

  I was on him instantly, eating at his mouth like some kind of animal out of control. He moaned, letting me lick at his tongue. Feverish with need, I reached for his erection, wrapping my hand around it and stroking it through his jeans.

  His hips jerked into my hold, a rough sound echoing in his throat. He tried pulling his mouth away; I bit at his bottom lip, refusing to let him go.

  “Fuck. Christ. You’re wild tonight, baby.” His voice was breathless, his cock throbbing in my hand. I squeezed down on the tip, trying to reach for his mouth again.

  My free hand landed on one of his pecs, right above his galloping heart, and with each pound that it gave for me, the thought going through my head grew stronger. Mine. This man is mine.

  I reared back right as Calum cupped my jaw to stop me from kissing him.

  My heart thundered in my chest, drowning in both my lust for him and my sudden, too-powerful fear. You can’t think like that, Liv. You just can’t.

  But, I’d already begun to, hadn’t I?

  Calum reached for my drink with his other hand and held it out to me. “Drink.” His command was accompanied by a hard, direct stare, his hazel eyes glittering in the candle light.

  Hands shaking, desperately trying to hide another round of my inner panic, I reached for the dry martini he held out to me.

  Yet I could only manage to hold it steady in front of me.

  Calum turned my head back toward him, darkened eyes possessing me. “Liv, drink.”

  He moved his hand away from my chin, giving me room to lift the glass to my mouth, but this time, he didn’t let go of my stare. He held it, and me, captive, as if he was aware that he had the power to get me to obey anything he wanted.

  Not for the first time, I found myself battling back the urge to flee from him as I took a sip of my drink. It soothed me, and I went in for another, and another, until half the glass was gone.

  The entire time, he watched me, those eyes trying to read me. Trying to take things from me that I wasn’t ready to give.

  I was dysfunctional when it came to any kind of relationship between a man and a woman. Period.

  That’s what happens when you walk into you
r dorm room, and find whom you’d believed to be the love of your life going down on your best friend.

  Oh, and my ex had been really into eating her out. Practically slobbering all over her and everything.

  I downed the last of my drink, trying to wash away the bitter memory of why I was the way I was.

  Calum took the glass from me as soon as I was finished. Instead of going for a new one, he waved over one of the few waiters walking the floor and ordered another round. As soon as the waiter walked away, he grabbed his drink and leaned back against the booth.

  We remained quiet as we waited for our next round. His eyes asked; I refused to give. I couldn’t. Not without knowing more and he was so damn good at hiding how he felt sometimes.

  Eventually, the waiter came back and placed our drinks on the table. Calum nodded at him then returned his attention to me. Slowly, he reached for his new drink. “Tell me about the project you were given at work.”

  My eyebrows scrunched. “Really? You want to talk about that now?” Heat burst through me all over again when he reached up to run his thumb along my bottom lip.

  “It’s important to you, isn’t it?” he asked in a low tone.

  I nodded, breathless. Of course the new account had me absolutely excited.

  inDasign was the hottest up and coming clothing brand of the year. The name was a little tacky, in my opinion, but their style was amazing, and the concept behind their entire business idea was even more so. To be hired to work alongside them for their marketing campaign—as well as being chosen as the head of their graphic and marketing team—was a huge opportunity for me.

  Frankly speaking: I pulled this off, it would put me on the map. That simple. My mind had been bursting with ideas for the marketing campaign since I’d found out I’d gotten the account.

  “We started planning the graphics this morning. They want to go with an edgy, urban look that matches their fall line.” I smiled brightly at him as I went further into detail on all the plans.

  My company and my team had signed an NDA with inDasign. Therefore, on the legal front, I shouldn't have been speaking to him about all of this. It wasn't lost on me that I trusted him, in that sense, at least.

  His stare never left me as I talked, and it was heady to have so much of his attention focused solely on me.

  Our third round arrived. I paused long enough to smile up at the waiter and thank him. I didn't realize Calum had gone stone still next to me until the waiter had walked away. “What?”

  He didn't answer, just reached for his drink, and began pounding it back.

  Fuck.

  I knew what this was. And it scared me as much as it excited me.

  He was jealous.

  Again.

  This time of a guy I’d only smiled at.

  God, did this all mean what I suspected it meant?

  “Calum?”

  “Hmm?” He wouldn't meet my eyes. I watched him take another sip, his eyes locked on the table. I loved how the candle light glowed inside them, how it illuminated the perfect angles of his face.

  Slowly, partially afraid he'd turn away from me, I slid up to him, until my chest was pressed against his arm.

  He jerked out of his thoughts, finally turning to me.

  I stared up at him. You have no idea how much I need those eyes on me. For a second, I was sure that my thoughts were showing in my expression, and I actually didn't care.

  I didn't want him hurt, I realized with shock. Yeah, I lived in utter fear he would hurt me, but that didn't mean I wanted to cause him any pain.

  Calum's expression softened as he stared down at me.

  “Are you still mad at me?” I asked in a low tone, wrapping a hand around his large bicep, right below where his sleeve ended.

  The tenderness in his eyes stole my breath away. “I’m not mad at you, Liv.” But then, he moved away from my touch, reaching over to place his glass on the table.

  All my apprehension returned full force. “Mad at the situation, then?”

  He stared at me out of the corner of his eye, contemplative. “You really care if I’m upset.”

  “Of course!” I scowled, confused and annoyed at the surprise in his tone. “When did I ever give you the impression that I don’t?”

  “Sometimes,” he murmured, turning to study me. “You give the impression that you’d be fine, either way.”

  Because I was a dysfunctional asshole who’s trust meter was utterly broken.

  “That makes two of us,” I retorted. It was true. Sometimes I couldn’t tell what he was thinking, let alone what he felt.

  His expression hardened, scaring me.

  “Calum.” His name came out as nothing more than a broken whisper.

  “Hey. Liv. No, come here.” He moved back toward me, his hand circling around my bare thigh. Taking a deep breath, as if steadying himself, he locked eyes with me, brows knit. “Tell me you do care.”

  “Isn’t it obvious?” I asked, still whispering.

  It was too much. The admission cost me more than he’d ever know, and for it to be forced from me in such a public place . . .

  My eyes dropped.

  He scared me. I would probably never confess that to him, but the things he made me feel were too much. I wasn’t ready. Hadn’t been when I’d met him. He’d just barreled into my life and taken all the control from me, leaving me and my issues floundering.

  “Livana.” He said my name so softly, hand tightening around my thigh. The other one came up and gently tilted my head up until I had no choice but to meet his eyes.

  What I saw there almost made me recoil.

  His expression was set in harsh lines.

  It was turbulent.

  No, violent.

  Calum pulled me closer, nuzzling his nose against mine. “Baby, you have no idea what it does to me to know that.” His lids lowered, eyes focusing on my mouth with so much sudden hunger that I gasped. “What you do to me.”

  “I–I don’t?” I asked, right before his lips landed on mine. My heart ached at the soft way he sucked on my lips, moaning in the back of his throat with every swipe of his tongue against me. As if he was savoring me. Slowly eating me.

  My core went molten, pounding like I’d never had him before and this was the first time he’d kissed me.

  Calum bit at my lip then raised his lids so that all I saw were his eyes. “I want you, Livana. More than I think I’ve ever wanted anyone.”

  Oh God. Oh God.

  His hand moved higher on my thigh, thumb brushing against my mound. “There’s something I want to do to you. Will you let me?”

  After what he’d just confessed to me? I’d give him anything he wanted at that moment.

  He’d broken open something with his statement—exposed a need I’d buried deep inside me. Made me so damned vulnerable and aroused that for the second time that night, I found myself shaking uncontrollably.

  “Whatever you want, Calum.” I grabbed onto his biceps with both hands, needing to hold onto something. “Anything.”

  He made a pleased sound at that, a groan so male that my walls rippled with want. “I’ve never done something like this before.” He brought me closer with one hand splayed across my lower back, until we were as close as we could be while sitting in the booth.

  I trembled at his words. Something he’d never done before, and he wanted to do it with me? “God, Calum.” Head falling back, I groaned. “Yes. Do it.”

  He bit the side of my neck, brushing his fingers against my aching cleft. “Open for me, Livana.”

  His growled command shot through me. Fuck. He meant to finger me beneath the table? Here? “I’ve never done anything like this before, either.” Whimpering, I lowered my head to nuzzle his cheek. “I’m already so close.”

  Gaze dark and possessive, he forced his big hand against my pussy, giving me no choice but to spread my legs to accommodate him. The palm of his hand fondled me, pressing into my trembling clit. “So wet.” A swift move had his finge
rs inside my thong, rubbing wet, slick flesh. “So swollen already.”

  I choked, brows tight, eyes locked on his beautiful face and the way his eyes ate me up. “I’m too close.”

  “Yeah. You are.” Smiling down at me, he slid his middle finger up one lip, then the other, leaving my clit distended and pulsating for his touch. With his fingers spreading my lips apart, my clit swollen between them, he paused to take a look around and make sure no one was near.

  Growling, I clawed at his shoulder, writhing against his hand.

  His other hand tightened painfully around my ass, holding me still. Slowly, he turned his head back toward me, eyes flashing. “This is mine, Livana.” He cupped me again, his palm finally touching where I needed it the most.

  But, he wouldn’t let me move. “Please. I hate when you tease me.”

  “I fucking love teasing you.” He pressed his palm into my clit, once, twice, and then stopped. “Love knowing that I can.”

  Biting my lip, I whimpered, my legs shaking violently under the table. “Ungh. Calum—”

  The hand that had been around my ass flew up and snapped around the back of my neck. He pressed me into him, hiding my face where his neck met his shoulder.

  “Is everything okay here? Can I get you something else?”

  I froze at the sound of the waiter’s voice, realizing why.

  “Yeah, actually,” Calum said, sounding so calm despite the fact that his fingers were softly rubbing up and down my slit.

  I tried not to tense too much, tried to stay still, but he was playing with me while pretending to hug me and chatting it up with the waiter!

  There was no way the waiter wouldn’t guess what Calum was doing. Didn’t matter that it seemed like he was hugging me. No one would be able to mistake the angle of his arm.

  But I couldn’t really focus on that. Not with his fingers massaging my folds, slipping lower—

  Inside. Oh fuck, the tip of his middle finger was sliding into me, pushing past my tight, throbbing walls.

  I bit down on his neck, hard, trying to hold back my desperate mewl.

  Calum continued speaking to the waiter, acting as if nothing was going on. “Get us another round, but make my next one a double.” He thrust the tip of his middle finger into me twice, softly, as he said the word double.