Broken (Voyeur Book 3) Read online

  Then, the gaping wound of his throat being sliced clean open, his severed trachea visible.

  And the blood. The torrents of blood that shot out of him as the life left his eyes.

  I hear that plaintive, small sound again.

  It’s me. I’m whimpering, when all I truly want to do is cry. Scream.

  Like I did before, when the darkness took over.

  The warmth of Noah’s touch returns, and I feel him adjusting me on the bed. I’m momentarily lifted one more time and then deposited on his lap. I’m barely able to make sense of what’s going on around me, but I register the feel of him leaning back against the headboard and hugging me.

  He presses my face into the crook of his neck and I inhale his scent.

  Mine.

  All mine.

  Shock follows the thought, along with a million other questions.

  Did I always feel this way?

  If I did, why did I fight it so long?

  Was I so afraid of losing him if he didn’t feel the same way?

  Yes. The answer to that is a clear yes.

  Why have I wasted so much time? My mind continues spinning, catching up with the reality around me. We’ve been taken. Our exes have been murdered, chosen simply because of how Noah and I feel for each other.

  The chances of us dying are ridiculously high.

  And as this all starts to sink in again, I can’t help but fixate on the idiocy of my choices. Can’t help but question the reasons behind my actions. Suddenly, making sense of that is more important than the horror trying to replay itself in my mind.

  One memory is clearer than the others. Louder than the screams.

  4 ½ years ago . . .

  Noah pops the cap on the beer and hands it to me. Opening his own, he sits down on the white ottoman. Behind him, my small string lights illuminate our little area on the roof. Beyond that, the entire city glows with life.

  “So. . .” Noah leans forward, elbows on his knees. Licking his lips, he pauses, and my eyes widen as I realize he’s holding back a smile. “You broke up with the tosser, huh?”

  My lips part and I throw a pillow at him. He catches it, chuckling, and I roll my eyes at him. “You never liked Robert, and that’s utterly unfair.”

  “Well, love, I’m sorry but you don’t seem too broken up about it.”

  I turn away from Noah, hiding my expression. He isn’t the only one to pick up on it. Jamie mentioned it earlier, too. Heck, I realize it.

  And it sucks. Because despite his faults, I know Robert loves me and it killed me to realize that I . . .

  I just never loved him.

  Alright. Time for more beer.

  I can feel Noah watching me as I chug. Needing a distraction, I motion toward his necklace with my beer. “You know what’s funny? I’ve known you over six months and you’ve never told me the story behind that.”

  By now, I’ve spent enough time with him to know that a little glass ball hangs at the end of the leather strap. There’s obviously a single piece of rice inside the glass, but I’ve never gotten close enough to see what’s written on it.

  Noah shifts and exhales slowly.

  Instantly, he has all my attention and I turn to him, hoping he’ll answer.

  Fingering the strap, he stares off into the city. “I know what you’re doing. You’re trying to change the subject.”

  I can’t help but smile at that. Ever since we met, he’s had this uncanny ability to read me. It’s probably how we’ve become such good friends this quickly. “Yeah, but I’ve also been curious since the day I saw it.”

  His eyes cut in my direction, glowing brightly with all the lights reflected in them.

  I loose my ability to breathe.

  “But you never did ask about it before, love.” His tone is soft. So is the look in his eyes.

  Warmth pounds through me, settling low in my belly. “Th-then tell me about it.”

  The muscle in his cheek bounces and he looks away again.

  “Someone special gave that to you, didn’t they?” I ask in an even softer tone than the one he used before. Out of nowhere, my heart starts pounding with adrenaline. But of course. How could I have not guessed it before? I’ve never, ever seen him without that necklace, and I’ve seen him constantly the last six months. “Noah?”

  “My fiancé, love.”

  The way my stomach drops at hearing that makes absolutely no sense. Yet, there’s no helping it. No stopping it. Dread seems to be suffocating me out of nowhere. “Wh-when did you guys break up?”

  Noah chugs his beer like his life depends on it. Still looking out toward the city, he mumbles out, “We didn’t.”

  WHAT?

  He’s been engaged? This whole time?

  Why the fuck does it feel like the world is shaking because of that?

  “Oh? Is she back in England?” I’m surprised how steady my tone is.

  Noah exhales again, his large shoulders rising and falling. Then, he says the one thing I never expected.

  “She died, love. Horrible car accident. Mangled her completely.”

  And there’s agony in his tone, so much of it that it suddenly clicks into place. Why I’ve never seen him reciprocating the flirting attempts of so many women. Why I’ve never heard him talk about having someone in his life.

  Why he’s so isolated at times.

  Noah lost his fiancé in a horrid accident.

  A woman he still loves.

  That memory is sucked away from me, and just as quickly the world rushes back in.

  All of it.

  The concrete walls surrounding us. The writing on those walls.

  The opulent furniture.

  The arms of the man holding me.

  Noah’s light blue eyes come into view. They’re wide. Hopeful. “Ivy?”

  I wait for the panic of everything to return. The devastating memories to consume me.

  Nothing. There’s no fear. No pain anymore. There’s only him.

  Noah.

  I raise a trembling hand to place it on his neck, eyes locked with his. Little by little, I see the tension draining from him as he realizes that I’m truly awake. Caressing his jaw with my thumb, I lick dry lips, amazed at how calm I am now.

  I’ve been such a fool. God help us all, because I can’t shake the feeling that my denial of what I feel somehow led to this. Somehow led to us being chosen for this crap.

  And yet, in this raw, stripped-bare moment, with so much anguish surrounding us, there’s no more denying it for me.

  No more ignoring the truth.

  Years ago, when I left Robert, I had been so close to finally opening that door. To finally letting myself feel for Noah what I had begun feeling for him the moment we met.

  Then he finally opened up about his fiancé and the belief that he wasn’t over her caused me to automatically shut down.

  Stupid. Foolish.

  I don’t know why Noah kept that necklace on this whole time, but last night he made it very clear when he tore it off.

  Me.

  He was choosing me.

  And it’s about fucking time I become honest with the both of us and chose him.

  Blinking my dry eyes, I lick my lips one more time, then finally, finally, allow myself to admit the truth, my voice as perfectly calm as the rest of me. “Noah . . . I love you. I’ve always loved you.”

  CHAPTER 21

  “Noah . . . I love you. I’ve always loved you.”

  His quick intake of air lets me know that he hears me.

  Silence looms inside the opulent room and for once I don’t feel suffocated by it. We’ve been taken and mentally beat down, and yet, telling him now feels right.

  Not when we get out and time passes us by. Knowing Noah, he will accuse me of Stockholm syndrome without him being the actual kidnapper. That I’m focusing on him because we have survived this together.

  Silly man.

  He doesn’t say a word. Doesn’t move or breathe, and I refuse to rush him.


  Shock is evident on his face. Arms fallen to the side, he sits like a beautiful statue.

  God only knows how long he’s been waiting on me to catch up.

  And it hits me then all over again, the sweet memories we share. Those late night conversations while I lay with my head on his chest talking about everything and nothing. Going for walks around the park near my home and then the cozy dinners that would follow in any of the hole-in-the-wall joints we love.

  Birthdays, Holidays, and every single day in between he’s been my constant.

  I’ve been dating this man without an official title for five years.

  He’s mine and I’m his.

  God, I’ve been so stupid.

  My Noah. The wonderful man in my line of sight—my man—looks at me as if in disbelief.

  And while his body remains stiff, muscles locked into place, it’s his eyes that scream at me to clarify what I said. Blurry with the moisture gathering there, the clear blues shine and beg for me to say those words once more.

  He needs it.

  He’s waited so long for this.

  “Oh, baby,” I whisper, my body momentarily leaving his warmth. A sound escapes the back of his throat at the separation, his fingers digging into my hips. “I’m not going anywhere. Promise. Just getting comfortable.”

  I welcome the slight pain of his tight hold. A small reminder that even though we’re in for the fight of our lives, I’m beside him. Will never part again.

  I’ll kill anyone who tries to separate us. No one is taking my man from me.

  And while that thought should shock me, it doesn’t. Not anymore.

  My innocence to the evil of the world is gone.

  We’ve both lost people since being taken from our homes. People who loved us, but even that fear that still lingers in the back of my mind isn’t enough to deter me.

  Like I told the voice a few hours ago, it’s always been him. I chose him above everyone else.

  And while I know that the death of Robert will haunt me for years to come, I need Noah. Only he can make those memories that flicker between the bouts of my happiness—these restful moments between the haunting images of Robert and Anne’s dead bodies—disappear.

  For now we’re safe and I can’t afford to linger on my doubts. Here, right now in this moment, we’ve found a superficial minute of peace. Of mild joy.

  This can be taken from us in the blink of an eye. I’ll never take time for granted again.

  Nothing is ever guaranteed and I worry for him. My savior, who will die if I don’t do everything in my power to get us out. And I will. Even if I have to take multiple lives to do so.

  “Say it again.” Rough, the timbre of his voice pulls me back from my thoughts. It holds an edge of manic desire that ignites my own hunger and the world dissolves around me. “Tell me, love. Say. It.”

  Throwing my leg over his, I straddle his lap. My pussy lines up with the thickness growing beneath my body.

  I’m still slick with his release and mine.

  A quick roll of my hips and the heat blooming in the pit of my stomach erupts. Everything is more pronounced. His breathing and mine escalates.

  His every exhale gives me life.

  “I love you, Noah. It’s always been you.” Pressing my forehead to his, I breathe in his masculine scent. Savor the moment of completeness that settles over my weary body.

  The world around me disappears; I could die right now and still thank every deity above for this one singular second.

  “I’ve waited so long, love . . . so fucking long.” The rigidness in his body eases and his arms, muscular and warm, pull me closer, caging me in before pressing his lips to my own. He doesn’t deepen the kiss, just lingers, tasting me while his hands roam. “There’s no going back. Do you want this?”

  Noah’s giving me an out, the honorable dork.

  Pulling back, I look down into those orbs that hold so much love. “I’m yours, Noah.”

  “Fuck, baby girl.” It leaves him on a pained groan, his hands wandering now. Lower. Kneading my ass with both hands, he angles me above him. The head of his thick cock, that wonderful piercing, rubs my clit and I hiss out my approval.

  I’m still sensitive, but damn me to hell cause I would never stop him.

  “Noah,” I breathe out and his pupils dilate. The blue of his irises is almost gone; he bares his teeth and bucks his hips. My reaction is automatic and wetness coats his length and my upper thighs. “Need you.”

  The temperature inside the room drops once more. Cool air meets my heated skin and goosebumps arise.

  Noah trails a hand from my waist and up my spine, pausing at the nape of my neck. Everywhere he touches my skin warms and the contrast is delicious. His large arms cover me, holding me in place.

  Eyes on mine, he smiles and it’s boyish. Soft. A complete contrast to his movement below.

  There’s no denying that my body is screaming out for more, but I let him lead.

  “Do you know . . .” his voice is rough and he pauses to clear his throat. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited for you to catch up? To admit what we have both always known?”

  “And what’s that?” Fingers embedding themselves in his thick, black hair, I tug on the strands, eliciting a pussy-clenching grunt from him.

  “That you have been, and will always be, mine.”

  My lips trail kisses down the side of his face and pause at the edge of his lips. “Sorry it took me so long to catch up. I’m a fucking idiot. Forgive me?”

  “Shite, doll,” he all but snarls suddenly, fingers digging into the flesh of my hips before pulling me down. Hips bucking up, I’m moved over his length twice before I’m airborne.

  “Noah!” I yelp. One second above and the next, I’m pinned beneath his body on the bed. Trapped by his weight. Quickly, my yell of surprise turns into a loud moan.

  Every solid inch of him aligns with me.

  From head to toe, I’m covered in him. He invades my senses and rapes my will.

  His stoic actions of a few minutes prior turn unhinged, every touch of his skin on mine leaving a trail of fire behind.

  “Again,” he growls, lips hovering over my own. “Motherfuck, again please.”

  “Love you—” Lips slam against my own and steal the breath from my lungs. It’s passionate and raw; everything that has led to this point explodes into a cosmic eruption of need.

  Gentleness gone, he slants his mouth over mine and takes. Devours me. A taste uniquely his detonates my senses and I’m gone.

  No longer am I in control of my actions. Dear God, I ache for this man above me.

  His tongue massages my own. Dominates the kiss, and yet, I want more.

  Nirvana: finding that pinnacle of completion and jumping off the cliff without holding back. Head first into a bliss so pure and unadulterated that you feel whole. At home.

  Noah’s tongue sweeps across my bottom lip once more and I shiver beneath him. Hips pressing into mine, he angles his cock and parts my lips with the blunt head.

  A shuddering breath escapes me. “Baby,” I whine, the want in my voice causing his nostrils to flare. My own hips rise to meet his, but Noah shakes his head and pins me down with more force.

  One hand on my waist, while the other grabs a fistful of my hair in his strong fingers, he angles me to his liking. “My turn.”

  “W-What?”

  Nearly black eyes rake down my flesh, smoldering while taking in the rise and fall of my chest. The tightness of each nipple. How desperate I am for him.

  He swallows hard. “You had your fun, and now I’ll have mine. My rules. My speed . . .” Leaning down, he blows air over one tight tip before nipping the flesh directly below. “My way.”

  “Oh, God,” I cry out, the feel of his tongue on me sends an electrical shock to my core. “Please, don’t do this to me.”

  “Feel like a drunken fool for you, Ivy.” Caressing every single inch of skin he can reach, he whispers what I’m quick to learn
is his truth.

  And mine.

  We never stood a chance. I’m his and there isn’t a thing in this world or the next that can separate us.

  Suddenly, he pulls back, leaving my bruised lips pouting. “No take backs.”

  “None.” At my response, his eyes search mine and whatever he finds seems to satisfy him.

  Noah nods, lips quirking up on one side. Unleashes his smirk on me and I whimper. “And you know I love you too?”

  I nod, my smile matching his. “Still nice to hear.”

  “Then say it once more before I take you. Give me those words.”

  “I love—”

  The crackle of the speakers stops my words and my veins turn ice cold. Noticing my distress, Noah lowers his body fully again, not a single inch of separation between us.

  No one speaks, but heavy breathing comes over the speakers. Loud. Obnoxious.

  Reminds me of—

  “Enough for now, pets. Playtime is over.” This time there is no mistaking the anger in her tone. “Move, Noah. Don’t force my men to physically remove you.”

  “No need,” Noah answers in a cold voice. Our eyes meet and he winks at me, his look begging me to cooperate and trust him.

  My response is a single blink. Because I do trust him.

  “Good, boy,” our captor mocks and I bristle. More breathing, harsher now. “And Ivy?”

  “Yes.” Composed, I reach over and cover my body with the blanket near my feet.

  “Do him favor . . .” she trails off and something doesn’t feel right. My muscles lock. “Help the chap out and stop being a whore.”

  What. The. Fuck?

  My hatred for her expands, as vast and consuming as my love for Noah is. I’m getting sick and tired of her games. Don’t give a flying fuck if she insults me. She wants to call me a whore? Fine. Hell, that’s exactly what I want to be for Noah.

  His little cockwhore.

  And I don’t give a damn what anyone thinks about it.

  But it hurts him to hear others insult me, so I know she’s doing it to mess with him.

  My fists clench around the covers. No one gets to mess with him anymore. I won’t allow it.